Ah, football.

I'm almost full term! Today is the first Texas game of the season, so naturally I took my photos wearing my burnt orange. Hook 'em!

Corporate America has crushed my soul.

So, I "officially" got approved to work from home for the second time. The last time it got pushed back a week. And a half. Then I brought in a doctor's note. I got approved. I was elated.

I left the office this afternoon thinking "I won't ever have to make this drive while pregnant ever again."

I got home. I relaxed for the first time in a looong time. I started a movie with Chris.

My phone rang.

"Hey Jessica, your temp got approved! Yayyy! Hey Jessica, we need you to come in to train her all next week! Yayyy!!!"

I should have said no! I should have said, "I'm sorry, but I really can't." But no. I said "sure, see you next week." Ugh, what is my problem! Maybe I can talk them into half days so I can miss traffic. Now my three day weekend has been ruined.

Good News.

This week isn't all bad. I don't want anyone to think I'm some Debbie Downer pregnant lady. I'm happy most of the time. I promise. Last week while Chris was out of town, I actually had fun. Normally I get worried when he's gone and call him every 5 minutes. I know, poor guy. I let him have his fun and wasn't worried at all. I really like the guys that he went with and actually slept well even though he was far away in another state. He called when he said he'd call and kept me updated on what was going on and I ended up having a relaxing weekend (aside from the odd massage appointment).

On Saturday, I went to visit Jamie at the farmer's market and got some super cute onesies for Emily.

I got a pedicure with Kristen, Courtney and Jenny on Saturday. My toes are now this color:

It was nice to finally spend some time with the girls. We went to lunch at Pei Wei before our pedicures. My fortune cookie said "Luck will visit you on the next new moon." We started thinking it meant Emily's arrival, but the next new moon is next Wednesday! The following new moon is October 7th, a date I've had stuck in my head. Maybe the fortune cookie was a month off. Maybe it was just a cookie. The back of the fortune told me how to say "mustache" in chinese.

As much as I worry, we really do have Emily's room pretty much ready. I still want to get new cushions for the rocking chair, a table for a lamp and a little organizer for diaper stuff to put on the table.

Here's her crib. I still have those 3 little pillow looking things that are meant to be hung on the wall. I'm just not sure where they should go yet.

This is the bookshelf that my mom gave to us and Chris stained. It looks awesome. My math teacher from high school, Mr. Grabman, gave us all of the books on the shelves. It's a great collection and we're so thankful that he passed them down to us!

Here's Roger displaying Emily's bathtime basket. He needs a bath.

Emily's closet. All of her clothes are washed and hung up.

I've been having some trouble with work, but finally got the official approval to start working from home next week!!!

This is SUCH a relief. They probably won't find a temp for me while I'm working from home, and I do feel kind of bad that they may be left without anyone to do my job when Emily is here, but... it's not my problem anymore! Hooray for doctor's notes.

Update on my doctor appointment last week: No progress. Not dilated. Looks like Emily will be sticking it out for the long haul!

36 weeks, panic sets in.

Yesterday on my way home from work I started to think about everything I needed to get done.

Stop at the store for dinner, drive home. Put away the clean dishes. Wash dirty dishes. Empty Chris' lunchbox. Take the clean clothes out of the dryer, start a new load. Peel the shrimp, cut up the vegetables, cook dinner. Take a shower. Dry the new load of laundry. Wash dinner dishes.

This then led to me starting to think about everything I need to get done in the next few weeks.

Buy a pack n play. Buy nursing bras. Buy bottles. Buy an extra car seat base. Install car seat in my car. Finish packing hospital bag. Hang curtains in Emily's room. Buy a garbage can for diapers. Figure out where to store diapers. Shelves? A table? Get a baby book. Cook meals to freeze. Mop the floors. Clean the window sills. Clean the bathroom. Vaccum Emily's room. Clean the baseboards. Sweep the front porch. Finish editing wedding photos. Make wedding announcements. Order maternity photos. I haven't even looked at them all yet.

My brain was seriously out of control. I started to think that I needed to do all of this NOW. What if Emily shows up tomorrow? Some people call this the nesting instinct, but it felt more like sheer panic. I started to feel really overwhelmed and freaked out. I got home and didn't even say hello to Chris, I just started cleaning. He got up to help me, gave me a hug and I started crying. I started to think that I wasn't ready for a baby. If I can't keep the house in order when she's not here, how am I going to do it when she is?

Is this normal? Does every mother think like this at some point? Chris assured me that we would be fine. All of the things that I need to get for Emily aren't things we really need. We can change her on the floor if we don't have a changing table. But I don't want to change her on the floor. I want a table. I need a table. I continued to panic.

Chris made me sit down, but I couldn't relax. I started on dinner. He cleaned the windows and mopped the floors. He said he didn't want me to be upset, so he was fixing the problem. He told me that people have babies every day, and most people have no idea what they're doing at first. He said you learn as you go and no one expects you to be the perfect parent. I believed him, but by this point I was so upset I couldn't really think straight.

By the time I finished dinner, my back hurt so bad. I felt like I was going to be sick and I couldn't really eat. I felt better emotionally, but not so great physically. I was actually jealous that Chris was able to clean, sweep and mop so quickly and efficiently. I wish I could do everything, but my body won't let me. It's such a frustrating feeling. I'm so appreciative of his help, but I still feel like I should be doing it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy and blessed to be pregnant. It's just a lot different than what I expected. Now that it's almost over, I'm realizing that it's just going to get harder. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm scared and nervous.

My massage experience

I was really hoping it would be more relaxing. I'm going back next month, but I'm going to have to request a different therapist. Kristen has one that she loves at that same location so I know I'll be in good hands next time. Here's what happened.

As soon as I walked in the room, my MT informed me that I couldn't have found someone with more prenatal experience. She has been taking classes for 8 years, and just finished a 5 day refresher workshop last month. Good! I like to hear this.

She explains the millions of bolsters and pillows on the table and asks a few questions (the lady at the front desk already asked them so I told her it was all written down). I said I'm pregnant, I'm tired but I can't sleep, and everything hurts. She left so I could get on the table.

She came back in, made sure I was comfortable, and asked a few more questions while she got started. At first it was okay. She asked about my commute because my paper said that I drive 2 hours every day. I told her I live in Blanco and drive to San Antonio. She asked a couple of questions about that. I told her I wanted to come back to Austin. I didn't really want to talk, but she kept the conversation going and I felt like I had to keep talking to her. She told me where she lived. Good to know? We discussed the roads in her neighborhood, they're horrible.

The conversation finally stopped so I started to relax. She got to my back and poked at my tattoo. "Cute! Cute, cute, cute. We're not allowed to comment on tattoos here. We can't even say nice things about tattoos, blah blah blah, haha." Okay, well then don't do it, lady.

She got to my feet and asked if I get pedicures. I told her I just got one yesterday, thanks. She told me she knew a place that used prego safe products for their pedicures. I said yeah, there's a pregnancy spa on Brodie that I thought about going to but their prices are a little too high. She whispers "that's where I work." I thought you worked here? I then felt bad for commenting on the prices and once again was NOT relaxed. I tried to explain, I don't know why. I don't even know why I was talking. Why couldn't she just let me relax? I said, well I guess the place sounds more luxurious and she laughs and says "I wouldn't call it luxurious. It's just the products that we use."

Okay bitch, listen. I'm trying to be nice. I don't know why. You're just supposed to give me my massage so I can sleep tonight, but instead you're making me feel stupid.

I said, well I'm not going to pay prices that high for a place that doesn't have a reputation yet. For all I know they're charging that much just because it says "pregnancy" on the door and they know people will pay. "Oh, they do have a reputation..." I block out the rest of what she's saying and try to relax. It has something to do with the economy and the lady that owns the place and more about prices and organic whatevers.

She asks if I've heard of Watsu massage. I haven't, but I say I have, hoping she'll stop talking. She said "oh really?" I said yeah I used to work at a Massage Therapy school so I'm familiar with some of the terms. "What school?" Lauterstein Conway. "Oh. I'm NOT a graduate of Lauterstein." That's too bad, lady. "I didn't want to be!" Ugh. I ignore her.

I don't know what she's talking about but she eventually starts talking about money. She asks me how much I'm paying today. She shouldn't be asking me that, don't tell her. I tell her. I can't help it, I didn't know what to do and I'm feeling uncomfortable. She talks more, and THEN- she makes a comment about tips. She is complaining that some people don't know how to tip, "and then they only leave ten dollars- oh, I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

I was planning on leaving ten dollars. Should I leave more? I thought that was okay. Should I leave less because she had the nerve to even say that?

She then says something about how $20 is more reasonable. WTF.

By this point I can see the clock and the massage is almost over. I find myself wishing I could have enjoyed the past 45 minutes instead of stressing out about how to make the situation more comfortable. Her technique was great, it could have been a really great massage, but she was so inappropriate!

As I left, she handed me a card with her hours on it. You know, so I could request her next time. Yeah right.

Oh, I left her $15. That's right, I was guilted into leaving her a bigger tip. I'm ashamed.

35/35

Yesterday I made it to a pretty important milestone- 35 weeks pregnant, only 35 days to go! That's 5 weeks! Miss Emily Jean could be here in the next couple of weeks, although I'm pretty sure she's going to hold out until October. It's surreal to think that I could be holding her any day now.

I've been having what I think are BH contractions just about every day for the past week, but they aren't frequent or regular. I usually get them after I get home from work while I'm trying to cook dinner or do the dishes. I think it has to do with sitting all day at my desk, sitting in my car during traffic, then standing for an hour, leaning awkwardly to keep my belly out of the sink. They're pretty painful, but don't last very long. It's like a sharp pain that wraps around the bottom of my belly from one side to the other and my belly gets really hard. I'm going to be such a wuss during labor, but I'm getting better at handling these. Occasionally I'll get one that is so bad I have to lay down, but for the most part I can just walk it off.

Work is getting more and more difficult for me. At my 33 week appointment, my doctor recommended that I start working from home at 35 weeks since I'm so far from the hospital (it's a 2 hour drive). She said that if something were to happen, she wants me to go to the nearest hospital and said I shouldn't try to make it to Austin. She hasn't said she thinks Emily will show up early, she just tells me that she could come at any time.

I got the okay from work to start working from home at the beginning of September (36 weeks), but they haven't gotten a temp for me to train. They seem to think that I'll just hang around until they get someone. They almost had a temp but changed their minds and decided to keep looking! This baby isn't going to wait on a temp! I won't be having this baby in San Antonio at an unfamiliar hospital with a doctor I don't know. I feel bad, but I'm going to talk to my doctor at my appointment next week and see if I can get a note from her saying I should be working from home. I'll still work and train someone, I'll just have to do it from home! I'm not taking any chances, having a baby is kind of important.

I've got my 35 week pictures but I think Chris took the camera. He's going to New Orleans for a bachelor party this weekend. I'll admit it, I'm pretty jealous. I want to go to New Orleans. However, I'm glad I'm not going on this trip. Seven dudes are taking a big van on an 8 hour car ride and then packing themselves into 3 hotel rooms when they get there. No thanks! Roger and I get the king sized bed all to ourselves while he's gone.

He told me I'm not allowed to have the baby this weekend. He said no shopping, no walking around too much, no spicy foods and no sex, haha. I guess I can handle that. I'm spending the day with Kristen tomorrow doing girly (non stressful) things. I miss him already, hope he has fun, and it wouldn't hurt if he happened to step into a casino and win some money while he's there. :)

Full Moon

Old wives tale says that a full moon can make a pregnant woman go into labor. Some people have told me that they have friends who work in L&D at a hospital, and they make sure to have extra staff on hand during a full moon. There are some studies that show more women go into labor during a full moon, some that show there are more false alarms during a full moon (lots of contractions, no actual labor), and then others that show there is absolutely no correlation.

I don't know. A few of my friends from thebump went into labor last night, but it is getting awfully close to their due dates so maybe it was just a coincidence? There were lots of mamas who had strong contractions last night, and I know that I had some unusual pains in the middle of the night but nothing that would send me to the hospital.

I definitely woke up 4 times to pee, does that count?

My friend Heather didn't have her baby during a full moon, but from what I remember her telling me (correct me if I'm wrong!), she went into labor the first time during a full moon, and ended up having Eric about a week and a half later. Crazy stuff.

The next full moon is a week before I'm due, maybe Emily will show up then! I'm sure that at 39 weeks I'll be begging her to come out.