My massage experience

I was really hoping it would be more relaxing. I'm going back next month, but I'm going to have to request a different therapist. Kristen has one that she loves at that same location so I know I'll be in good hands next time. Here's what happened.

As soon as I walked in the room, my MT informed me that I couldn't have found someone with more prenatal experience. She has been taking classes for 8 years, and just finished a 5 day refresher workshop last month. Good! I like to hear this.

She explains the millions of bolsters and pillows on the table and asks a few questions (the lady at the front desk already asked them so I told her it was all written down). I said I'm pregnant, I'm tired but I can't sleep, and everything hurts. She left so I could get on the table.

She came back in, made sure I was comfortable, and asked a few more questions while she got started. At first it was okay. She asked about my commute because my paper said that I drive 2 hours every day. I told her I live in Blanco and drive to San Antonio. She asked a couple of questions about that. I told her I wanted to come back to Austin. I didn't really want to talk, but she kept the conversation going and I felt like I had to keep talking to her. She told me where she lived. Good to know? We discussed the roads in her neighborhood, they're horrible.

The conversation finally stopped so I started to relax. She got to my back and poked at my tattoo. "Cute! Cute, cute, cute. We're not allowed to comment on tattoos here. We can't even say nice things about tattoos, blah blah blah, haha." Okay, well then don't do it, lady.

She got to my feet and asked if I get pedicures. I told her I just got one yesterday, thanks. She told me she knew a place that used prego safe products for their pedicures. I said yeah, there's a pregnancy spa on Brodie that I thought about going to but their prices are a little too high. She whispers "that's where I work." I thought you worked here? I then felt bad for commenting on the prices and once again was NOT relaxed. I tried to explain, I don't know why. I don't even know why I was talking. Why couldn't she just let me relax? I said, well I guess the place sounds more luxurious and she laughs and says "I wouldn't call it luxurious. It's just the products that we use."

Okay bitch, listen. I'm trying to be nice. I don't know why. You're just supposed to give me my massage so I can sleep tonight, but instead you're making me feel stupid.

I said, well I'm not going to pay prices that high for a place that doesn't have a reputation yet. For all I know they're charging that much just because it says "pregnancy" on the door and they know people will pay. "Oh, they do have a reputation..." I block out the rest of what she's saying and try to relax. It has something to do with the economy and the lady that owns the place and more about prices and organic whatevers.

She asks if I've heard of Watsu massage. I haven't, but I say I have, hoping she'll stop talking. She said "oh really?" I said yeah I used to work at a Massage Therapy school so I'm familiar with some of the terms. "What school?" Lauterstein Conway. "Oh. I'm NOT a graduate of Lauterstein." That's too bad, lady. "I didn't want to be!" Ugh. I ignore her.

I don't know what she's talking about but she eventually starts talking about money. She asks me how much I'm paying today. She shouldn't be asking me that, don't tell her. I tell her. I can't help it, I didn't know what to do and I'm feeling uncomfortable. She talks more, and THEN- she makes a comment about tips. She is complaining that some people don't know how to tip, "and then they only leave ten dollars- oh, I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

I was planning on leaving ten dollars. Should I leave more? I thought that was okay. Should I leave less because she had the nerve to even say that?

She then says something about how $20 is more reasonable. WTF.

By this point I can see the clock and the massage is almost over. I find myself wishing I could have enjoyed the past 45 minutes instead of stressing out about how to make the situation more comfortable. Her technique was great, it could have been a really great massage, but she was so inappropriate!

As I left, she handed me a card with her hours on it. You know, so I could request her next time. Yeah right.

Oh, I left her $15. That's right, I was guilted into leaving her a bigger tip. I'm ashamed.